Gregory of Tours, Clovis

      Book II from the History of the Franks deals with the beginning of the Merovingian dynasty.  It is very clear after reading just a few lines that these people cannot possibly be the descendants of Jesus, as is claimed in the Da Vinci Code.

     Roman consular lists mention a Clodio, who is one of the Kings of the Franks, the long-haired kings.  Merovech, one of his descendants, was the father of Childeric and gave his name to the dynasty.  Childeric is described by Gregory as being King of the Franks, whose private life was one long debauch. 

     Gregory also described the conversion of Clovis since, up until around 496 A.D., the family had been firmly pagan.  But, Clovis married a Christian woman who worked tirelessly to convert her husband to her faith.  She had their first son baptized and he promptly died, leading Clovis to declare it was a bad religion.  Their second son was baptized and nearly died, but Clotild prayed and Chlodomer survived.  It was not a good sign.

      In spite of this, when a battle with the Alamanni was going against Clovis, he decided to try this god and promised to be baptized if Jesus would  assist him in slaughtering his enemies.  Because Jesus enjoys a good bloodbath, do you not know, Clovis won and was immediately baptized.  His sister decided to be baptized too and died right after.  It makes you wonder what was in the water. 

     One might think Clovis had a hand in these deaths but female relatives were generally safe.  It was all his male relatives and possible competitors for the throne that he had murdered. Which is part of why this dynasty died out in the end:  they kept killing each other.

Beatles's song of the week

This one was hard to translate because of things in it which did not exist in Classical Rome. I did my best.  I am sure it won't be hard to guess anyway.

Pulchra Rita, vigilia stativae mercedis,

Nihil inter nos venire potest,

Ubi obscurum decet, corem tibi abstraho.